9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
