I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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