Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
