I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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