four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
