I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
not ubering you a puppy
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