A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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