I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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