we made out on top of his cat.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
