dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
