In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
