i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
