Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't put those talents on a resume
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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