I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
