There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
