Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
