Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I don't deserve a penis
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
