This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
