"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
