Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
