The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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