I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
