perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
