hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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