we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Vodka?
Forever.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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