because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Houston, we have a squirter
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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