If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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