I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
