I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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