I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
