please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
