broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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