She is in my trunk
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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