I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
sex in a hospital.. check
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
