Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
