he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
