He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
