He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
