I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
