never play flip cup with pint glasses
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
