You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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