After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
