do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
