So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
