i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
