with your own penis?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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