i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
