hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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