he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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