I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
