I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
